If we could start the whole process over again I would think of the house building proposition in a different way. I would think of it as an optimization problem with a number of possible scenarios that could delver the desired outcome. There are many ways to build a house, what is the best one for this land, my budget, my requirements, and material preferences? By the time we had a go / no go decision we already owned a property and had spent $20k -$30k on design, engineering and permitting.
You don't design half the plans for a Porsche to understand you can only afford a Ford Focus. The industry is inherently flawed, where you have to spend substantial funds on design to have enough detail to get a reasonable estimate. Instead the process should be a constraints based gated process where the hurdle for determining "can I afford this" is determined prior to substantial commitment of time and resources.
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